


Small Faeries Having Big Problems May Be A Cliche, but it's Also True

by AntagonizedPenguin



Series: How Best to Use a Sword [18]
Category: Original Work
Genre: A Main Character Who Knows He's a Main Character, Anal Sex, Angst, Centaur Politics, Cheating, Double Penetration, Faeries - Freeform, Faery Politics, He chats to the narrator now and then, M/M, Metafictional Elements, Oral Sex, Promiscuity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2020-10-26 13:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20742857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntagonizedPenguin/pseuds/AntagonizedPenguin
Summary: Juniper is a faery in the queen's clan, living in harmony with the local clan of centaurs, who are in the middle of a minor succession issue.Having just recently broken up with his boyfriend over a similarly minor cheating issue, he has nothing better to do than solve the conspiracy that seems to be unfolding in the hamlet, and if he's lucky, he'll..."Hey, the fuck? Stop making me sound like such a loser."You are, a bit."Am not. I'm a free spirit. Say that I'm intrepid and care about the safety of my centaur friends, so I go to..."Shut it.Follow Juniper as he tries to get his life together and incidentally stumbles into a mystery at the same time. Whether he gets it together or manages to solve anything? Well, that depends on how cooperative he decides to be.





	1. Small Faeries Having Big Problems May Be A Cliche, but it's Also True.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the last story in the main body of How Best to Use a Sword! I figured it was time to put eyes on the ever-mysterious centaur situation in the woods, which we'll do through the eyes of Juniper. I've done some fun stuff with the narration in this one, so it's a bit different from my other stories. I hope you guys enjoy the adventurous style I'm playing with in this one. 
> 
> And of course as always, no need to have read other stories in my series to read this one, but if you are new and interested, this story is most closely related to [Killing the Witch Isn't Simple](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4632171/chapters/10562496), which about the clan of witches who'll show up later in this story. :)
> 
> Enjoy Juniper's adventures!

Juniper flew. He raced through the forest, breath short, wings aching. But he couldn’t slow down. Not now. They’d catch him. At the very least, he had to…

“Woah, hold on there, buddy.” 

What?

“You can’t just start the story with me flying for my life,” Juniper says, pausing in his flight. He puts his hands on his hips, glaring into the air, pink wings slowing to a gentle flutter behind him. “What the hell is that? Where’s the buildup and the dramatic tension? Your readers don’t know me from a piece of dandelion fluff and you expect them to care that I’m fleeing for my life from some ambiguous force?”

It wouldn’t be an ambiguous force if you’d let me get through the opening paragraph. There was a whole dramatic reveal in the second paragraph about centaurs, June. It’s called style. 

“It’s called being confusing, you dumbass bird.”

It’s an in media res opening! People like that!

“People also like knowing what the fuck is going on.” Juniper shakes his head. “You have to start the story sooner.” 

Or I could end the story sooner. And then the centaurs caught up to Juniper and ate him. The end.

“Yeah, you’re hilarious, sure.” Juniper smiles. “Come on now. You’re the one who’s so in love with your chronology. You’re starting me in the future of the rest of the series. Don’t do that to your readers again. They’ve got a lot to keep track of.” 

Okay, okay, fine. We’ll start earlier.

“Thank you. Give the readers a better sense of me and what motivates me. Maybe you could start at the party where I first learned about the…”

Nope. 

“Hm.” Juniper frowns. “Oh, I guess the day after that would be good. You could get your slightly mysterious opening and people could wonder about this guy I’m waking up with when…”

No. I know where to start it. 

“All right, no need to get snippy. Closing my eyes. Hit me with it.” 

Consider yourself hit.

Juniper moaned. He was stretched to his limit, sitting in the lap of one of the guys fucking him, wings pressed against his toned chest, with the other in between his splayed legs, cock pressed alongside the first, the two moving in tune with each other. Writhing in between them, Juniper tried to say something, but he couldn’t around the third cock, the one in his mouth, the owner of which was fluttering above the ground to straddle Juniper’s face as he fucked him. 

The faery behind Juniper, arms around his middle, was called Hawthorn. The one in front of him, playing with his nipples, was Hickory. The one pulling Juniper’s hair was Honeysuckle. There was a reason why he wasn’t supposed to be having a four-way with them, but Juniper, at this moment, couldn’t quite remember what it was.

Hawthorn and Hickory had tried to drive their cocks into Juniper at the same time, keeping pace with each other, but after the first few thrusts, though there was enough room for both of them, they’d failed to stay together, and now Juniper was pressed against Hawthorn and Hawthorn was deep inside him, thrusting shallowly while Hickory thrust in and out with boundless energy, not minding that Honeysuckle’s ass was in his face as he rammed right into Juniper’s throat, taking all the considerable pleasure he could from Juniper’s skilled mouth. 

They were a loud bunch, the three penetrating faeries moaning and groaning at a volume that made Juniper’s sound fade into the background, such that when Juniper started to cum, even though he got loud with it, they barely noticed, only Hawthorn taking note of the fact that Juniper was tightening around him as he squirted. 

Hickory came first of the other three, shouting something as he drove deep into Juniper, leaning forward and bumping Honeysuckle, which got him to give a surprised thrust into Juniper’s throat, which made him cum as well with a loud whinge. Hawthorn was quiet as he came, his grunts calming to a low volume as he held Juniper tightly and shot his load inside alongside Hickory’s. 

Then the four faeries collapsed, Honeysuckle falling out of Juniper’s mouth to rest, Hickory pulling out. Only Hawthorn stayed inside, Juniper melting against his chest, content. “Hope you guys aren’t tired out,” he muttered, cum running down his chin. 

All three laughed, and Hawthorn kissed his neck. “Not tired. Just resting.”

Juniper nodded, smiling, though not entirely content. He opens one eye, looking into the distance. “This was a shitty thing to do.”

You’re the one who wanted to start with motivation and characterization. 

“Congratulations, you’re about to characterize me as a horrible person.”

I think people are more forgiving than you think. Don’t look now, your motivation and characterization is standing in the doorway. 

“Are standing in the doorway.”

Is standing in the doorway. It’s one guy.

“I know who it fucking is.”

Juniper sighs, waiting for a sound. He heard it, and looked over. Another faery, a very pretty one with sky-black hair and wings like white lace named Hemlock, was standing there, just looking at them, eyes slowly filling with tears. “Hem…”

The other three looked up. “Oh, hey, kid,” Hickory said, waving at him. “You want to join in? We’re just about to start…Hemlock?” 

He’d already run off. “Shit,” Juniper said, scrambling off Hawthorn’s cock, out of the pile of sex, grabbing his tunic but not bothering to put it on as he ran after Hemlock.

“Hey, you said he didn’t mind!” Hickory shouted, but Juniper ignored him as he ran after his boyfriend. 

Juniper caught up with him just outside of the pod, where he was sitting on the bark porch, crying his eyes out against the wall. “Hemlock. I’m…I’m sorry…”

“No you’re not,” Hemlock sobbed, wings shuddering. “You…you asshole.”

“It wasn’t…” Fuck, of course it was a big deal. “It didn’t mean anything, baby, it was just a little bit of sex.” It had been a lot of sex.

“I told you,” Hemlock cried, refusing to look at Juniper, moving away when Juniper tried to put his hands on his shoulders. “I _told you_. I didn’t care who else you fucked, anyone else in the whole forest. As long as it wasn’t one of my brothers, June. As long as it wasn’t one of my brothers.” Hemlock sniffed, looked up at Juniper for the first time. “A-all, all three of them? Were you, were you trying to rip my heart out and fuck it into a hole?”

“No, it wasn’t,” Juniper sat down, hands shaking. He’d fucked up so bad. “It wasn’t like that, Hem, I swear. It was just Hawthorn at first, and then Hickory found us, and…and…” 

“Is that supposed to make me feel _better?_” Hemlock demanded in a shrill voice. “Cause it fucking doesn’t, you lying piece of filth.”

“Hem…I’m sorry.” Juniper meant that. He did. He hadn’t meant to hurt Hemlock. “I promise it’ll never happen again. I’ll, I’ll even be monogamous if you want, I swear I’ll…”

“Don’t,” Hemlock said, standing up. The black makeup he wore around his eyes to make them pop was all smeared and runny. “Don’t lie to me again, Juniper. Just go away.”

“Hem, I love you.”

“Go away!” Hemlock shouted, a wave of toxic magic emanating from him. Juniper felt a bit sick, but he didn’t step back. “I don’t want to see you ever again. Go away, go away, _go away!_” This last was in a scream that came with a concordant blast of poison, which threw Juniper off his feet and into the air. 

Tears in his own eyes now, Juniper buzzed backwards, watching Hemlock recede. “I love you,” he said, just loud enough to be heard. “I’m sorry, Hem. I love you.”

Hemlock didn’t answer. Juniper flew away, tunic in hand. He didn’t talk to anyone, didn’t see anyone. He should have gone to the spring first, to clean up, but he couldn’t. Someone would see him crying and ask why. So he just went home, zipping through the trees, underneath other pods like the one he’d left, through vines and frozen branches and other shit he didn’t want to look at or think about, until he got to his family’s pod. 

Juniper flew in, ignoring his parents when they greeted him, and made straight for his hammock, nearly tangling his wings in it as he collided, then pulling the blanket over himself so he could cry without interruption. 

He could feel the aftereffects of his mistake all over his body. The soreness between his legs, the scratch in his throat, the sting in his nipples. He could feel their hands on his hips, his chest, in his hair, their bodies pressed against his. He still smelled like them. “Fuck,” Juniper whispered. “Such a dumbass.”

It was only once he’d calmed down a little that Juniper sticks his head out from under the blanket. “Fuck you,” he snarls. “_Fuck you_. That was…that was a shitty thing to do.”

Look who’s talking.

“Oh, _fuck off_.” Juniper pulls the blanket back over his head. He does not want this to be how his story started.

Too bad he isn’t the one writing it.


	2. Guilt Is A Poison, but Poison Is Also A Poison, So Maybe Don't Cheat on Your Poisonous Boyfriend

Juniper wretched. His stomach was trying to empty itself on the ground in the root system of an old tree. Not that there was anything to empty, since he’d been vomiting for a couple of days now. 

“And whose fucking fault is that?” Juniper asks, wiping his face.

Definitely yours. You cheated on the forest’s most powerful font of poison magic. 

“Yes, thank you, we were all there,” Juniper snaps. He stands up, rubbing his arms. “It’s not like he poisoned me on purpose, it was an accident.”

If you say so. I don’t think being self-deprecating is going to help, by the way. People are pretty mad at you. You’re already on at least one person’s list. 

Juniper waves a hand. “I’ll grow on them.” 

You’re not putting in a stellar performance so far.

“Are we going to get to the part where I do the thing, or are you just going to insult me all day?”

I don’t see why I can’t do both, but if you insist. 

Still weak and queasy but feeling slightly less like he was going to melt from the inside out, Juniper buzzed into the air, circling slowly around the tree as he headed back up. Just as he’d gotten into the low branches, a tremendous crashing sounded through the trees as two centaurs bullied through the forest. 

“‘Bullied’ is a stupid verb to use there,” Juniper mutters, watching them. “Stop trying to characterize the centaurs by misusing words.” 

Look, I’ll narrate, you just sit there and wait until it’s time for you to fall out of the tree, okay?

“I don’t understand what he’s doing,” one of the centaurs said. Juniper didn’t know him. He didn’t know either of them. He paid very little attention to the centaurs, like most of the faeries. They were just sort of there, living their lives. He knew, like everyone knew, that the centaur chief had died in the autumn, and that there’d been an issue of some kind between his two children that had led to his daughter fleeing the village and going to live on the western side of the forest under the protection of the kings’ clan and the witches. But that was pretty much what he knew.

These two were warriors, which was just a glorified word for hunters since they hadn’t fought a war in living memory of anyone who only lived once. With bows strung, they were looking for deer or moose. Juniper didn’t care. He just wanted to sit down and feel better and they were being loud and giving him a headache. He’d felt hung over for three days and it sucked. 

It didn’t suck as much as hating himself for what he’d done to Hemlock, but it sucked. 

“You don’t have to understand what he’s doing,” the second centaur said back. His fur was red all over, which wasn’t common in centaurs. “He’s the chief.”

“Still,” said the other centaur, who had regular dark brown centaur colouring, “the chief’s job has always made sense before. And now suddenly we’re having a meeting with Estelle? After she tried to kill you?”

The red centaur rippled most of his upper body in a way that was probably supposed to be a shrug and which, had Juniper been paying more attention, he might have read as unease. “She’s his sister. He doesn’t want to kill her if it can be avoided. And he wants to avoid war with the wise ones’ clan.”

“There are five of them,” the second centaur snorted. “I think we can take them.”

“Then you’re an idiot,” the red centaur said. His name was Miguel, but Juniper didn’t know that yet. “One of them is easily as powerful as ten of our warriors, and that’s one of the weak ones.”

“And you know that why? Because you’ve asked?”

The centaur who Juniper didn’t know was named Miguel was about to answer, but it was at this moment that Juniper fell out of the tree. He hadn’t tried to fall, or even noticed that he’d been about to fall, or that he’d been dizzy or weak at all. But gravity still had its way with him and Juniper fell out of the tree, realizing that he was doing so only once he was most of the way down the tree. 

Falling out of something was the stupidest way to die for someone who could fly. Juniper pumped his wings, not able to get them to move at first, and panicked just a little bit, hand out. His magic flash-froze the ground beneath him and the tree itself, which didn’t help, but did clear his mind a little and let him move properly, wings flapping just enough to keep him from splatting on the ground. 

Then he fell the rest of the way onto hard ice, sighing and looking up at the tree, which was now frozen more than halfway up its length. “Stupid tree,” he muttered. 

“What was that?” one of the centaurs asked.

Clomping and pushing and rustling accompanied that, and soon two centaurs were looking down at Juniper. They had flat faces, wide noses, flappy ears and a lot of hair. “Do you require assistance, guardian?” Miguel asked Juniper. 

Juniper shook his head, sitting up. He didn’t require assistance. “No, thank you. I’m fine.”

“You look ill,” Miguel’s friend said, reaching down and scooping Juniper up quite without his permission. His name was Alphonse, which Juniper would also learn later. “We will return you to your clan.”

Juniper made a noise, feeling more ill. He tried to stand up, managed to fall out of the second centaur’s hand, and was caught by Miguel. “I’m just a little poisoned,” he told them. “It’s not serious.” 

“Poison?” Miguel asked, holding Juniper up to his face. Juniper wished he wasn’t swimming. “Has someone tried to kill you, guardian?”

“No, no.” Juniper shouldn’t have said that. “Nothing like that. It was an accidental poisoning. I’ll be fine. Just…put me on a bush or something and I’ll be fine.”

“Nonsense, you’ll freeze to death,” Miguel insisted. “I know how poorly your kind fare in the cold.”

Juniper pointed at the frozen tree. “Ice spirit,” he told them. “Cold doesn’t touch me. Just…” he tried to stand again, and fell over again. “Okay, you know what, yes, I’d appreciate a ride back to the clan tree, thank you.”

Hopefully he’d manage to get there without throwing up again. 

“Of course, guardian,” Miguel said, putting Juniper on his shoulder. 

“My name’s Juniper,” he muttered. Miguel’s shoulder was pretty warm. 

Soon they were moving, and Juniper shut his eyes. “First I seem like an asshole and now I seem helpless,” Juniper mutters. “Any other humiliations you’d like to drop on me?”

Next chapter you’re going to get high at an orgy and fuck someone you don’t know.

“Great,” Juniper says. “Thanks.”

Hey, I’m just the messenger. You’re the one doing it.

“Yeah, yeah.” Juniper settled a little in Miguel’s fur, and he fell asleep like that. 

It wouldn’t be until a while later that he’d wonder why Miguel’s touch didn’t make him sick when Alphonse’s hand had buzzed with something noxious.


	3. If A Party Doesn't Cheer You up, Drugs Are Probably Not the Answer

Juniper danced. Or at least that was what he thought he was doing. Really it was more sort of bouncing his arms around a bit while he tried not to fall down.

“Hey, fuckhead. You’ve ruined my life enough, don’t insult my dancing, maybe?”

Your dancing sucks.

“Like you’d fucking know. I’m having fun, okay? I had a bad breakup, I got poisoned, but now I’m feeling better and I’m having fun.” Juniper doesn’t stop dancing as he argues.

You’re still poisoned, that’s why you’ve been dizzy since you started drinking. 

Juniper scowls. “That’s because of the alcohol.”

Yeah, it’s interacting badly with Hemlock’s power. Don’t worry, you probably won’t die. Besides, it’s far from the only thing that’s going inside you tonight that’ll interact badly with Hemlock’s power.

“I’m not listening to you, I’m having fun.”

Don’t complain later that I didn’t warn you.

The party was in a hollow tree about a mile out from the court. The coming full moon always made the forest thrum with power, and all kinds of different sources were awake as a result. That much power in one place—which it was since there were three hundred people here—came together like an orchestra, albeit one playing a few hundred different songs. This time of month always caused a party that nobody really planned, it just sort of happened.

Juniper moved backwards as he danced, thinking he should get another drink, a line of thought that stopped, or was rather put on pause, when be bumped into someone. No big deal, everyone bumped into each other, sometimes on purpose. When he’d last opened his eyes there’d been a lot of bumping going on not far from him, though he’d decided he needed more drinks before wandering over to see if he could join in. He’d started to and then seen Hemlock’s face in his head.

“Hey,” said the voice of whomever he’d bumped into. 

“Don’t say that like I don’t fucking know who it is,” Juniper mutters before turning around. “Also, whomever? Come on, that’s not the tone of this narrative.” 

Shut up and turn around.

Juniper turned around, putting on his best ‘I feel bad that I cheated on your brother but since it was with you I reserve the right to hit you if you try to take the moral high ground’ face. “Hey yourself. Having fun?”

Honeysuckle gave him a ‘you cheated on my brother so I’m mad at you but I also feel guilty because it was with me and so my anger is mostly guilt that I’m projecting onto you’ look. “I was until I saw you.”

Juniper rolled his eyes, pushing down either guilt or nausea. “You knew I was going to be here.”

“You shouldn’t be. Hemlock hasn’t come out of his room since…”

“Stop acting like that’s completely my fault,” Juniper interrupted, feeling a pang of crappiness run through him. “He’s not coming out of his room because he’s afraid he’ll have to talk to you.”

Honeysuckled glared, wings vibrating red. His hair was a tumble of yellow curls flecked with red and he was slender, long armed, and really good at making things disappear. “You lied to us. You told us that he was okay with you…”

“Oh, fuck off, Honeysuckle,” Juniper said, backing away a bit. “You knew I was lying when I did it. You did it because you figured we wouldn’t get caught, just like I did.” 

Honeysuckle buzzed forward angrily, but then subsided when Juniper didn’t back down. “It was a shitty thing to do. Stay away from Hemlock. Don’t try to win him back.”

“Do you see me trying?” Juniper asked, holding out his arms. He felt nauseous again. “Unless you’re planning to fuck me, then get lost, will you?” 

Honeysuckle did get lost, buzzing away into the crowd. Juniper shook his head, his good mood gone. He went to get another drink. 

“Hear the queen’s going to do something about it if it gets to be a bigger problem,” a faery was saying near the floating, glowing orb that was dispensing drinks for everyone. Juniper barely listened while he refilled his, emptied it, then refilled it again. 

“Already a huge fucking problem if you ask me,” another said. “They’re massive.”

“They’re just bugs.”

“No, there’s something wrong about them when you get close. Something toxic and gross. They need to be dealt with.”

The alcohol wasn’t working, but fortunately Juniper saw his sometimes friend Grass and zipped over to him. He had a pouch of some mysterious thing that he was handing out. “Hey, what you got tonight?”

Grass smiled mysteriously as if he wasn’t the least mysterious person in the world. “Something new. You want?”

Juniper nodded, holding out his hand. Grass put a small tablet into it. “Will it help me forget that I hate myself?”

Grass nodded slowly, and put a second tablet in Juniper’s hand. “That should do it. Go fly, buddy.”

“Thanks,” Juniper said, taking off and raising his hand to his mouth. 

You really shouldn’t take both. One is probably enough until you know what it does.

“Yeah, yeah,” Juniper mutters.

He took both, washed them down with the last of his alcohol, and went to go dance in the sky. As he moved along with the music, Juniper wondered if what he’d taken was actually doing anything. Sometimes Grass’s new mixtures didn’t. Maybe he should go back to drinking, or maybe…

Maybe he was swirling in a world that span with the sound of colours. Everything was moving in a tide, a stream and a wave and Juniper moved with it, forgetting himself and his problems and everything but being part of that wave. Here, there were no worries, no guilt or anger, no sickness, no Hemlock and his brothers, no centaurs, no Juniper, just waves. 

One wave crashed into him, and he rode it, and it rode him and they rode together, around and on top of an into each other, drifting and letting the wave carry them, holding each other. Juniper was touched all over and he touched back and they moved together and went into each other and became one, flying in the stream that got stronger and stronger.

Until it wasn’t a stream but a torrent and they were in its centre, a maelstrom of rotted ice that, with a touch and a movement and a word, exploded outwards in a cascade of sounds that made Juniper cry. 

And when it was done he lay there in the stream, warm and not alone, Juniper watched the light of the stream dance until the only thing he could see was a dream.


	4. Trying to Make Up for What You Missed While High Can Have Interesting Results

Juniper groaned. His body hurt all over, but his head most specifically. He felt like he’d been trampled by a centaur and then lit on fire. 

“And whose fault is that?”

I literally told you to go easy on the drugs.

“I don’t remember that.”

Read the last chapter, it’s right there. You make your own life harder at every chance. Not to mention everyone else’s lives. Objections to your self-awareness have been raised on the grounds that it makes using Control F to find another entry in my series harder. 

“You know what?” Juniper says, angry but mostly just hung over. “Your readers can eat my dick, okay? If they have complaints they can complain to me instead of you. I’ll freeze-dry their organs or something.”

I think he’d appreciate it if you went for the appendix. Look, that stranger you fucked at the party is about to wake up.

“Who?” Juniper looks down. “Oh, him.”

Juniper sighed. He didn’t know the guy stirring beside him. He was hot, though. Broad shouldered, a bit tan, hair that was probably wavy when it wasn’t a mess, good-sized dick. Hopefully Juniper hadn’t topped last night, that would be a waste. 

As the guy woke up, Juniper felt between his legs, slipped a finger inside himself. Yep, he’d bottomed. Good. 

Classy.

“Shut up, I’m scoring a new boyfriend.”

“You’re doing what?” the guy asked, blinking. “Oh, fuck, why does everything hurt?”

“That’s a really good question that Grass had better have a great answer for,” Juniper said, helping the guy sit. “Pretty sure we fucked last night.”

“Huh,” the guy said, looking Juniper over, then looking down at himself. “Yeah, looks that way. I don’t remember it.”

“Me either. You’re hot, though, I’d definitely fuck you again sober if you want.” Juniper had never found that subtlety had been particularly necessary in his dating life. 

“Hm,” the guy said, rubbing his head. He looked down at Juniper’s cock, then up at his face again. “Yeah, me too. Maybe not right this second.”

“Maybe not. I’m Juniper.”

“Daffodil.” They touched fingers, then Daffodil shivered. “Fuck, it’s cold.”

“Yeah,” Juniper agreed, not bothered by this. They were in fact sitting naked on a bed of cracked ice. “Ice magic, sorry about that.”

“It’s fine.” Daffodil touched Juniper’s arm. “I’m not hypothermic, so sleeping next to you must have kept the worst of it away from me.”

“Or it might have been the fucking that did it,” Juniper said, as they stood up. “Just a perk.”

Daffodil snorted, looking around. He shook frost off his rust-coloured wings. “Well, I don’t see our clothes, so I guess this is how we go home.”

“Damn,” Juniper said, buzzing into the air just enough to get his feet off the ground. “I’d better go with you then, so nothing important freezes off on your way there.” He gently touched Daffodil between his legs. 

Daffodil’s cock twitched, which made Juniper touch it longer than necessary, which made it start to swell up. “I do happen to like that part,” Daffodil agreed, wings buzzing as he lifted up too.

“I have to say it’s pretty up there on my list of favourite parts of you,” Juniper said, looking down at it out of pure curiosity to see how much bigger it would get. He made no excuses, just calmly stroked Daffodil until he was hard. 

“Hm. I bet we could get it to the top.”

Juniper smiled innocently and Daffodil. “And here you said not right this second.”

“What are you, a human, obsessed with time? Besides, that was several seconds ago, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t know, there’s no human around for me to ask.”

As he spoke, Juniper crouched, lower and lower until he was in front of Daffodil’s cock. Then, with a smile, he took it in his mouth, started sucking. Daffodil was big but not huge, and Juniper enjoyed sucking him further in, tasting what he’d missed last night. 

He’d barely been at it two minutes before Daffodil’s hands were under his armpits, and pulling Juniper up and around, giving Juniper a job of keeping Daffodil’s cock in his mouth. Disorientation hit him and it took Juniper a second to realize that his own cock was in someone’s mouth too, probably Daffodil’s. 

Really intuitive of you, there. I’d pause for you to answer, but your mouth’s full, oh well, moving on. 

They lifted into the air, spinning head over foot lazily as they both buzzed, trying to fly in a way their bodies weren’t made to. Daffodil’s cock tasted really good and he was also really, unfairly good at giving head, and as he spun through the air, Juniper soon came with a muffled sound, bucking his hips into Daffodil’s mouth. 

Then, though Juniper was still sucking, Daffodil separated them, pulling back until he wasn’t in Juniper’s mouth no matter what Juniper tried. “Hey,” complained Juniper. “I wasn’t done. Or you weren’t done. Or whatever.” He was too dizzy. 

“I know. I wouldn’t mind fucking you, though.” 

“Oh,” Juniper said, righting himself. Or wronging himself, actually. He’d been oriented upwards until he matched Daffodil, but now he was upside-down. “You should have just said so.” 

“Turn around?”

Juniper did, and Daffodil held him from behind, hands on Juniper’s hips. “Next time we’ll do the foreplay thing,” he promised, and then he pushed himself inside. 

Juniper nodded, trying to care about next time, but for now Daffodil was inside him, filling him out, stretching him back to how he must have been stretched last night. That he went in without trouble said something about how much or how long they’d gone, and it made Juniper sad that he’d missed it. 

He fucked you for a solid two hours. It was the best sex of your life.

“Shut up,” Juniper pants.

What, I’m helping!

Juniper tried to help them aloft, but they started to gradually drift downwards, Daffodil struggling to keep both their weight in the air, especially upside-down. But Juniper barely noticed as the power of Daffodil’s fucking picked up, his every thrust sending shudders through Juniper’s whole frame. 

He ended up pushed against the tree’s side in midair, more strain on his arms than he’d expected but Daffodil trying his best to fuck Juniper into it, hard, even strokes going deep and making Juniper cry out every time. 

He didn’t go for two hours, but it went on for a long while, and Juniper came after what must have been half an hour if time was even real, his cum hitting the tree, running down towards his head, freezing halfway there. Daffodil never stopped, just going and going and going and going until he rammed in, his balls tensing against Juniper’s ass, and he came with a soft sound, spurt after spurt filling Juniper up, little daffodil seeds inside him.

They both fell, but Daffodil caught Juniper and held them a bit above ground, both of them panting while they recovered. He just seemed tired, but Juniper was dizzy and felt weak. “Wow,” he muttered.

“Yeah,” Daffodil agreed, breathing heavily. “Sorry. Normally I don’t shoot that fast, but I guess being hung over and all the fucking we must have done last night conspired in the worst possible way.”

Oh, wow. Oh, _wow._ Well, they were definitely going to fuck again. Juniper smiled up at him. “That’s okay. We’ll just do it again when you’re back to full strength.”

Daffodil nodded, and he leaned down and kissed Juniper. “Okay if I carry you back to my place? To fend off the cold?”

“Sure,” Juniper said. “Okay if I sleep there? To recover from the power fucking?”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

He might still be dizzy and a bit sick, but Juniper was feeling way better than he had been yesterday. For now.

“Don’t add that last part.”

Too late. See you in the next chapter.


	5. There Really Are A Lot of Valid Reasons to Learn Someone's Name before Having Sex with Them Repeatedly

Juniper shifted. His ass was sore, but the good kind of sore that came from all the fucking that he and Daffodil had been doing. 

Speaking of, do you want to make the joke about him being a pain in the ass, or should I?

“Oh, can it,” Juniper says, not opening his eyes. He’s smiling to himself like a weirdo while he pretends to nap in a tree. “We’ve got a good thing going and you and your murderous readers are not going to ruin it for me.” 

Nah, if the pattern of history holds, you’ll probably ruin it for yourself without my help.

“Not this time. One of your guys likes me now, and me and Daffodil have real chemistry or something. Things are looking up.” 

Really? What’s his favourite colour? What are his parents’ names? What are his hobbies?

“Shut up, who cares, and fucking me. Sexual chemistry is important too, dickhead.” 

Yeah, let me know how that works for you. Or better, I could bop you into the future and we could check?

“Fuck off, you can’t whip out time travel from nowhere just to torment me,” Juniper says, shifting again and ignoring the noise from the forest floor. 

Obviously not just to torment you, you’re not important enough. But if I mention right now that it exists, that counts as foreshadowing for when I decide to do it to a character who matters.

“And what makes for better foreshadowing than telling the readers that’s what it is?” Juniper asks with a sneer. 

Also, let’s not forget that I did it to you in the first chapter, so there’s that. Look up, your dick is here. Not to mention the guy he’s attached to, if you’ve bothered to look that far. 

Juniper rolled his eyes, looking up as Daffodil landed on the branch in front of him. “Hey,” he said, letting Daffodil pull him up. “You’re late.”

“Yeah,” Daffodil agreed, kissing Juniper. “Sorry. Had some trouble getting out of bed.” 

“Tired?” Juniper asked, stepping closer.

“Bit sick. Think I ate some bad fruit or something.” Daffodil shrugged. “I’m fine now.” 

“Oh,” said Juniper. “So you don’t want a blowjob to make you feel better?”

Before Daffodil could answer, the tree shook. “What the fuck?”

What the fuck turned out to be two centaurs, the same two who’d rescued Juniper a while ago. The red one, whose name Juniper still didn’t know was Miguel, seemed to have chased the other one into the tree. “You won’t speak about your chief that way,” Miguel snarled.

The other centaur huffed, standing up, hand near his bow. “Just because you want to bear his children doesn’t mean you must play a fool, Miguel,” he said. “Esteban is weak, and he will bow to the witches’ will to avoid a conflict that _we would win_. What more evidence do you need that he is not fit to be clan chief?” 

“I need no further evidence that you are not fit to be a warrior of this clan,” Miguel said darkly, his own bow strung and drawn. Juniper looked down at them, thinking it would be kind of bad if they decided to kill each other here. 

Not an understatement at all, Juniper.

“Shove it, I’m watching history happen.” 

“We should stop them before they hurt each other,” Daffodil said in Juniper’s ear, while the centaurs kept arguing. 

“We’re not supposed to interfere in their crap,” Juniper muttered.

“Yeah, but one of them’s about to die.” 

That was true, both of them had their bows drawn and nocked now, which suggested a serious hesitancy on Miguel’s part, since he’d already has his out. Juniper sighed. “Okay, but if the queen gets mad at us, it’s on you.” The non-interference policy was pretty clear. Juniper believed the exact wording was ‘Don’t fucking interfere with the affairs of the centaurs, you pack of horny fucks.’ 

Daffodil smirked. “I’ll worry about the queen.” And he pushed Juniper off the branch. 

With grace that was mostly accidental, Juniper swooped the rest of the way down, landing on the tip of Miguel’s arrow while Daffodil landed on the other centaur’s bow. “Now, boys,” said Juniper, hands up. “Let’s not do anything stupid, okay?”

“Guardian,” Miguel said with a nod, not lessening the tension in the bow. “Good day, you look well. Alphonse and I are settling a disagreement that originates within the clan. Your assistance is not required.” 

“Yes, we can see that,” Juniper said, looking up and down the situation. Ice formed on Miguel’s arrow, spreading to the bow, freezing the whole thing in place. He stopped it just short of Miguel’s hands, because he was a very nice person who cared about the feelings of others.

Is that what you are now?

Juniper ignored everything but Miguel. “The thing is, the forest doesn’t like it when you guys kill each other, and when the forest gets upset, I get indigestion, and I’m almost over this poisoning that I’ve been dealing with, so let’s talk about our problems instead of bleeding out over them?”

Miguel looked at Juniper a moment and lowered his useless bow. And a snap sounded behind Juniper, and a rush of air, the vibration of wood and metal flying towards him, an arrow three times the length of his body prepared to penetrate Juniper’s flesh, killing him instantly, and…

The arrow froze over in the air, shattering into sparkling ice dust just before it reached Juniper and Miguel, blinks of light filling the air as the particles of ice reflected the winter sun. Juniper sighed, turned to face Alphonse. “Really?”

“Sorry,” Daffodil said, hovering now. Alphonse’s bow was snapped in half, the wood rotted. “He was faster than I expected.” 

Alphonse threw the pieces of his bow on the ground with a snarl. “The guardians will not always be here to protect you, Miguel. And nor will they protect Esteban from facing the consequences of his weakness.” 

And he stalked off, inasmuch as someone could stalk at a canter. 

Miguel sighed, moving to sling his bow over his back and frowning when it cracked into several pieces. He tossed the pieces on the forest floor. “I apologize if our conflict disturbed you, guardians.”

“No apology necessary,” Daffodil said, buzzing over, hand on the small of Juniper’s back. “What’s going on with your chief?”

“There is nothing for which Esteban can be blamed,” Miguel said, bowing his head in deference. “He is a strong and wise leader for the clan.”

“Well,” said Juniper, not to anyone present in the forest, “I can’t imagine someone named Esteban being strong or wise, or being good at ruling, or, incidentally, sex, but we’ll let that pass. What’s the actual conflict about?”

Blinking, Miguel answered as if he hadn’t heard the first half of Juniper’s statement, which he hadn’t. “Esteban seeks a way to avoid conflict with the wise ones’ clan.” 

“That’s a good thing,” Daffodil said with a nod. “Nobody wants that war to happen.”

“There are…” Miguel shifted in the snow. “Those in the clan who do. And who believed that Esteban would lead them in that effort. They are displeased to have been proven wrong.”

“Are you displeased?” Daffodil asked, arms crossed, while Juniper interpreted that Esteban had led them to believe this war would happen and had turned out to be lying. 

“Not at all.” Miguel shook his head insistently. “I desire only the prosperity of the clan.” 

“And Esteban’s approval, I’m guessing,” Juniper added. 

Miguel’s face tried very hard to match his fur. “He is the clan chief,” he said simply.

“Okay,” Daffodil said. He sighed deeply. “It is in nobody’s best interests for your clan to go to war with the witches’ clan, Miguel. I understand that arbitration will soon happen between Esteban and Estelle, is that right?”

“That’s correct,” Miguel said with a nod, while Juniper wondered what the fuck they were talking about.

“Before that, we’d best arbitrate this conflict within the clan, because I worry Alphonse and his friends will try to harm Esteban if left alone for much longer. There’s a poisonous feel to his aura and I don’t like it.” 

“I agree. Something toxic has entered our clan,” Miguel said. “And it is harming us all.” 

“Okay.” Daffodil took Juniper’s hand. “Juniper, could you hang around the hamlet for the next few days? I’m going to talk to my mother about this and see what we can do.”

“What we can…” Juniper frowned. “I don’t follow. Why does your mother care?”

“My mother,” Daffodil said, as if leading Juniper to something. “Amaryllis the Great, Queen of the Faeries?”

“Oh,” Juniper said, very intelligently. 

I told you, knowing his parents’ names might have been important. 

“Fuck me,” Juniper says, buzzing angrily. “How was I supposed to know I was fucking the crown prince of the queen’s clan?”

Basic knowledge of your environment and culture?

Juniper sighs. “This is going to fucking suck for me, isn’t it?”

That seems pretty safe to say. Ready for the next chapter?

“Is the next chapter the scary one?”

Guess we’ll find out in a few weeks. 

“Great.” Juniper felt sick to his stomach again. “Awesome. Let’s fucking do it.”


	6. It Really Sucks When Suddenly You Have to Start Taking Everything Seriously

Juniper watched. And watched, and watched, and watched, and there was really just nothing to see, so it all sucked. Centaurs were boring as shit. All they did was horse around and not in the fun way. 

In the racist way?

“It’s not racist if it’s true,” Juniper says, glaring down at the centaurs in a very racist way. “Stop calling me a racist. I have it hard enough.” 

Stop being a racist, then?

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. That’s not how I meant it either. I meant horse around like dicking around, but with less dicking. The use of the word horse was ill-thought out and I’m sorry.”

That’s better. Now stop being a whingy bitch and go back to watching the centaurs.

Juniper sighed, and went back to watching the centaurs. They all knew he was there in the town, but only Miguel knew why, so they were all kind of giving him a wide berth. Or had been. Miguel was now approaching the hut he was sitting on the roof of. “Guardian,” he called, as if Juniper couldn’t see him. 

Juniper buzzed down. He was pretty much back to normal now, he felt. Hemlock’s poison had worked its way through his system. “Warrior. What’s up?”

As ever, Miguel didn’t comment on Juniper’s utter inability to speak formally. “The chief would like to speak with you, if you’d permit.” 

Well, that had been coming since the start. “Sure. Lead the way.”

“Of course, guardian.” 

“My name’s Juniper.” 

“I shall keep that in mind, guardian.” 

Juniper shook his head and flew after Miguel, dodging snowflakes for fun while he went. Miguel led him to the chief’s hut, which was bigger than the others, and then around to the back of it, where Esteban was shooting arrows at a tree. He was taller than Miguel, mostly brown, a wide face even for a centaur. He turned in a wide circle when Juniper and Miguel arrived. “Thank you, Miguel. My greetings, guardian. I regret that it took me so long to issue you an invitation.” 

“Not at all,” Juniper said, sitting on top of one of Esteban’s unshot arrows. “What can I do you for?”

Esteban blinked. “I am, as you might perhaps assume, curious as to your presence in the hamlet. It is my understanding that your queen prefers you not to concern yourselves with our affairs.”

That was a very nice way to say that he wanted Juniper to fuck off. Which was fair enough. Juniper wanted Juniper to fuck off too. This was boring, but the crown prince had spoken. Also Daffodil had asked him nicely. And also this was probably important. “We’re worried about the conflicts surrounding you,” he said after a moment’s thought. “We want to arbitrate your inter-clan conflict before your argument with your sister is arbitrated.”

Esteban looked at him a moment, then snorted, looking away. “Are we children, all our conflicts to be settled by our betters rather than amongst ourselves?” 

“You’re kind of acting like it, to be honest,” Juniper said, mouth moving before he could think. 

“Guardian,” Miguel said, taking a step forward. “There are serious disputes between our people, that…”

Juniper held up his hand. “I’m sorry, that was rude.” He was in an apologizing mood today, seemed like. “It’s not that we think of you as children, chief.” Though Juniper did kind of think Esteban was an idiot, but that might not be fair. Maybe. “But there’s something toxic in your clan and it’s our job to clear up whatever it is.” 

Juniper really hoped it wasn’t an actual toxin. If it was, a certain ex-boyfriend of his was probably going to get called in and that would be a bit awkward because the calling would probably happen by his current boyfriend and it just seemed better for all involved in Daffodil and Hemlock never met. 

Yeah, that’s going to happen. 

Esteban took what Juniper could only think of as a careful breath. “A toxic presence?” he asked, slowly. 

“Yes. It clings to some of your people.” Not just Alphonse, now that Juniper was in the hamlet. About a dozen of the warriors. 

“That’s impossible.”

“I know it’s a weird thing to say, but…”

“Apologies, guardian, for the interruption. What I mean is that the creatures should all be dead.” 

Juniper frowned, rising up off the arrow. “Creatures.” 

“The centipedes, yes,” Esteban agreed, as if Juniper knew there were centipedes. “They infested a corner of the hamlet some time ago. I was given a poison that killed them all.” 

Given by whom, Juniper wondered. “I’d like to see where they were.” This really didn’t sound good. 

“Very well. I shall take you myself.” 

“I’m coming with you.” 

“Miguel, we hardly need…”

“I’m coming with you,” Miguel repeated. “Just in case.” 

Juniper nodded. “Fine. Let’s go.”

The centaurs led Juniper into the woods, around the edges of the hamlet, obviously avoiding other centaurs. The scenic route gave him some time to think, mostly about all the terrible things that this could lead to. “The fuck are you planning?” he mutters. 

Not me. 

“Bullshit, it’s all you.” 

Not all of it. 

“But you know what it is.”

Maybe.

Juniper sighed as they came into view of the hamlet again, but only within view. There was a small clearing and beside the clearing was a mound of snow that Esteban cleared with his bow, proving it to be a mound of dirt with snow on it. “This was the creatures’ nest. As I said, they’ve all been killed.” 

Juniper nodded, and hovered down, landing on the mound. And he was immediately struck with a nausea, one he recognized. It was the same noxious feeling he’d had when he’d touched Alphonse before. The same one coming from a good number of the centaurs. “No,” he said, swallowing. “They haven’t.” 

_Aww, don’t go ruining the surprise, Freezie._

Oh. Oh, Juniper did _not_ like the sound of that. It sounded like someone raking nails made of oil over his brain. 

_That’s such a nice thing to say, thanks._

Juniper frowned. “It…can hear you.” 

Yeah. 

_Oh, me and the birdie are good friends. You want to come down and say hi or should I pop up now that you’ve ruined my grand entrance?_

“Who…what are you?”

_A liar._ The mound rumbled and collapsed, and from all around Juniper, the ground erupted with centipedes, surging out from under the dirt, surrounding him. Esteban and Miguel stepped back with shouts. “I’m the master of grand entrances, Freezie.” 

I don’t know, I can think of a few people who might challenge your claim on that one.

“Babies,” the monster said, its aura nearly overwhelming Juniper for its strength. It was corruption made manifest and nothing else. “I’m the clear winner to anyone with or without eyes.” Its voice was audible now and no more pleasant for it. 

“You’re not meant to exist in this world,” Juniper said, wings buzzing. The centipedes were crawling around him. “You’re an intruder.” This thing was from somewhere else, there was no doubt about that. It was the sort of thing that had been enemy to the people that Esteban and Miguel would have called the masters. 

“How?” Esteban demanded. “The wise one insisted that you would…”

“Hard to kill me with the same thing twice,” the monster said. “And Joy wasted his one shot early on. Now you be quiet for a hot second, Goat. Me and the guardian want to have a little chat about our invisible friend.” 

Juniper didn’t want to talk about his invisible friend or anything else with this monster. He held out his hands. “Now, don’t do that,” the monster said. “See, here’s the thing. I’m what you might call a bit greedy. Kind of like you, actually. But the thing is there are some things I think are just _Mine_, you know? This world, for example. But also our friend. I don’t like that there’s someone else out there who he talks to. So I’m going to make your reader friend happy and give you a chomp or two, put things right, okay?”

“You…” Juniper clenched his hands into fists. “I won’t let you.” 

The monster laughed. “As if you have a choice, you small, small thing.” 

The centipedes surged forward, and Miguel shouted. “Guardian!”

No. Juniper wasn’t going to fucking die because of some creature that shouldn’t even exist. Faeries didn’t die in the way that humans did, but this thing would kill him. It would kill all of him, and the only parts of him that would come back would be the parts that got digested into more centipedes and Juniper didn’t want, couldn’t have, wouldn’t allow…

With a scream that was more panicked than ferocious, Juniper drew on all the power afforded to him, casting out in all directions, eyes shut. “Guardian…” Esteban said quietly. 

Juniper opened his eyes. The centipedes were frozen solid all around him, stuck in the act of pouncing. He was standing on solid ice that extended at least fifty feet underground. “Holy fuck,” he said, even though fucking was more fun than it was holy in his religion. 

Something laughed at the edges of his mind, then skittered away. 

“You didn’t tell me that thing existed.” 

Would you have listened?

“I guess not. Fuck.” 

“You’ve stopped it, guardian,” Esteban said, taking a careful step forward. 

Juniper shook his head, lifted off from the ground, above the arthropod ice sculptures. “No. It’s still alive somewhere. I’m going to go notify the queen about this. I have a feeling she’s going to have to come in person to deal with it. It’s too powerful for me.” 

“Perhaps you need not notify her,” Esteban said, looking up. “It seems she’s sent you some emissaries already. Greetings, guardians.” 

“Chief,” one of them said with a nod. It was two faeries Juniper didn’t know, but who fit into that universal mould of ‘mean looking soldiery type.’ “Apologies for the intrusion. Clan business.” 

“Guys,” Juniper said. These were queen’s guards. They’d help. “We’ve got to go back to the court and tell the queen about this. There’s this monster, a demon. It’s really dangerous. It’s going to…what are you doing?” The two of them were behind him, taking his arms. 

“Juniper, in the name of the queen, you’re under arrest,” one of the guards said. 

“What? For what?” 

Come on, you know, don’t you?

“For poisoning the queen’s son.”

“I…didn’t!”

“And yet he’s in bed dying as we speak, and your power is all over his aura.” As they spoke, the guards placed a binding spell on Juniper, locking him out of his power. 

“Wh-what?” Daffodil was…dying? “I didn’t…I swear I didn’t…” 

“You can tell the queen that. If she doesn’t execute you.” 

And without another word, the two faery guards lifted Juniper away from the gaping centaurs, to go face justice for something that wasn’t his fault. 

And skittering against the back of Juniper’s mind, something laughed.


	7. When You're Not Very Good at Self-Reflection, Outside Commentary Is Helpful

Juniper sulked. He’d been sulking a lot since yesterday, though of course he wouldn’t characterize it as sulking. 

He was just sad and scared. Nobody was telling him anything, he didn’t know if Daffodil was okay, he didn’t know if the centaurs were okay, he didn’t know if the demon in the hamlet was still there. Everything was his fault. 

Or at least he felt that way. The centipedes weren’t really his fault at all. And it’s not like he knew his cum was making Daffodil sick. Really, he’s not really to blame for anything catastrophic, and he knows he should probably stop blaming himself. 

Uh…but he’s kind of stuck in a self-hating mental spiral where he just keeps thinking about everything shitty that’s happened and how ultimately he can’t do anything about anything that matters when he has so much trouble fixing his own problems. He wants to know when his life got to be such a wreck. It’s not like he wants to be like this, he just…

Look, are you just going to sit there and ignore me?

June, I know you can hear me.

For fuck’s sake, Juniper, sitting there being a baby isn’t going to help you. 

Juniper just shifts, leaning against the wood wall and turning away, as if the voice talking to him is coming from one place. 

Fine, whatever. Juniper had decided that because he was worried about the people he cared about, he’d also ignore the only person who cared about him. He’d been sitting in the cell for a long time without moving, and he really should try to stretch or something so he didn’t start to ache. There was also some water in a pitcher in the corner, which he would hopefully drink soon so he didn’t get too dehydrated. He also hadn’t eaten the food they’d brought him. Or gone to the bathroom. Or done pretty much anything to take care of himself. 

Wings buzzed outside his cell door, barely audible to even Juniper. He didn’t hear them anyway. The door opened, probably the guard coming to take his uneaten food away. The smell of it was making Juniper sick anyway. Then the door closed, the guard having not left. 

Will you look up at him?

The other faery just stood there for several minutes, quiet, waiting. And eventually, finally, Juniper lifted his head. 

Hemlock was standing there, wings folded behind him, hair hanging in his eyes. He’d dressed nicely, in black with gentle red around the edges, hints of lace down the front. He was so pretty. “Hey,” he said to Juniper. 

“H-” Juniper’s voice cracked from disuse and lack of water. “Hey.” 

“You look terrible.” 

“You look great.” 

Hemlock nodded, looking around the cell. “Daffodil’s going to be okay,” he said, hard to hear. 

Juniper swallowed, sitting up straight. Oh. Oh, of course. Hemlock was the forest’s most powerful font of poison magic. Of course they’d have called him to cure the queen’s son. He should have known. “He…thank you.” 

“Didn’t do it for you,” Hemlock muttered, not looking at Juniper. “All you had to do was keep your fucking pants on for two weeks. The spell would have run its course by then, and…” Hemlock shook his head. “I screwed up.” 

“_I_ screwed up,” Juniper disagreed.

“Obviously. You’re a screw-up. I just thought that you’d fuck around with a bunch of people is all. Well.” Hemlock snorted, hugging himself now. “The idealist in me hoped that you’d be sad that I dumped you and not have random sex with people at all. But I guess that was stupid.”

“Hem…”

“You must have fucked him a bunch of times,” Hemlock said, raising his voice just for a second to drown out Juniper. “Just…kept reinforcing the transfer of the poison until it was actually dangerous. It was only supposed to give whoever you slept with a stomachache for a day.” 

“Hemlock…” Juniper struggled to stand, his muscles very unhappy as he did. “I deserved it. Hurting people just because I touched them is…it’s unlike you.” It was cruel. 

Hemlock nodded, eyes watering. “I told myself it was the same thing you would do.” 

That hurt, and Juniper winced with it. Juniper wasn’t under any illusions about himself as a person. He knew he kind of sucked all around. But he really didn’t think he’d have pulled something like that. The worst revenge he’d ever gotten against an ex was stealing their new girlfriend from them. “Yeah, probably.” He sighed heavily. Stomach rumbling. He was starving. “Listen. Don’t tell them it was you. You’ll get in trouble, you don’t deserve that. I do.” 

Hemlock scowled at him. “What made you turn so selfless?”

Juniper snorted. “Not selfless. I just think I’ve taken a turn for the self-loathing.” 

Because that’s productive. 

Flicking his eyes at nothing, Juniper did something productive. “Listen. There’s a dangerous monster in the centaur hamlet. The queen needs to go there and do something about the centipedes that live there—I didn’t get them all. I know that you…I know how you feel about me. But please tell her? It’s really, really important, Hem.” 

Hemlock looked at Juniper for a long time, searching for something. Juniper didn’t know what he wanted, or what he should say, or what he should do or… “It’s not a turn for the self-loathing,” he said, turning around and opening the door. “You were always self-loathing, Juniper. That’s why you cheated on me. It’s why you treat people the way you do.” 

“I cheated on you because I’m an asshole and a skank with no impulse control, Hem.” 

Hemlock shook his head, wings flexing a little. “You cheated on me because I loved you unconditionally and you didn’t think you deserved it. That’s the only reason you could have put so much effort into what you did. You wanted me to hate you, because you thought I was wrong not to. You want people not to like you, because you don’t think you deserve to be liked. You’ve always hated yourself.” 

“That’s…” Juniper felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. “That’s not true.” 

“I’ll tell the queen about the centipedes. Goodbye, Juniper. I hope you find a way to feel better someday.” 

“I…Hemlock!” But Hemlock was gone, leaving Juniper leaning up against the door, overwhelmed, crying. 

It took Juniper a good few minutes to get himself under control, and to slump down against the door. The jug of water was beside him, with a cup as well. “I don’t hate myself,” he muttered. 

Then why aren’t you eating or drinking?

Juniper didn’t have an answer to that. And he took the jug of water, poured a cup, drank it down in a gulp. It was still cold. He drank another cup before reaching for the food. “Thank you.” 

Of course.

“Do you think he was right? Do I make people not like me on purpose?”

Not consciously, but you do like to self-sabotage.

“I don’t _like_ to…” Juniper sighs, looking up at the wooden roof. “Whatever. It’s not like I have some deep trauma from my past or anything. I’m just…a crap person.” 

I wouldn’t be so sure about that.

“What, because I took the fall for Hemlock? He was just sad when he cast that spell. It wasn’t his fault.” 

Sure he was. But I was thinking more that the idea that you’d hurt Daffodil was sending you into a spiral of depression. 

“Just because I don’t want to be executed,” Juniper mutters, shifting. He has to pee really badly. 

Really? Not because you felt bad?

Juniper snorts, standing up. “End the chapter, will you? I have to pee and most of your readers don’t want to see that.” 

Maybe I want to cater to the ones who do.

“Why, so they can have mixed feelings about me? Come on, I’m whipping it out now.” 

Hold on, have to get the dick quota in…okay there it is. See you next time.


	8. You Can Deny Reality All You Want, but You Can't Force People Not to Care about You

Juniper sighed. “Fuck off.” 

Come on, Juniper.

“No. I’m not in the mood.” 

Please?

“Why would I jerk off?” Juniper asks. “I’m in fucking jail.”

Exactly! And there’s no fucking in fucking jail! You must be getting horny! There’s not even like a guy to rape you if you drop the soap!

“Rape jokes are not funny, you asshole.” 

Of course they’re not. I’m just appealing to the various kinks out there. Come on, jerk it for the audience. It’s been a long time since they saw you cum.

Juniper rolls his eyes, lifting his hips to pull his pants down. His dick’s already hard and he spits on his hand and starts jerking off. “Everyone’s going to think you’re a bitch for pressuring me into this.” 

I can survive the scorn. Besides, you were going to do it anyway, you only balked when I suggested the ice dildo. 

Juniper blushes more than the situation calls for. “I was not.”

Really, you weren’t? Should I zip us back in time fifteen minutes to when you said, “hey, I haven’t gotten off in a while with people watching. Should I jerk it or something for the horny fucks you call an audience?”

“Sh-shut up! That was said in confidence!” Juniper licks two fingers and slides them inside himself while he rapidly whacks off. “Besides, there’s been enough fucking t-time travel in this story.” 

Hm.

“I’m serious.” Juniper is moving his hips up and down, fucking himself onto his fingers. “And we fucking still haven’t gotten to the part where you originally wanted to start me off.” 

Yeah, yeah. I’m willing to admit I was wrong on that one. 

Juniper narrows his eyes, panting. “You never admit you’re wrong.” 

I do when I’m wrong.

Juniper snorts, making a needy noise as he starts to get close. He doesn’t say anything for a good minute until, desperately jabbing his fingers inside to reach what he wants, he finally cums, spurting up and all over himself with a sigh as he releases the pressure he didn’t know he was holding in. 

“What’s so interesting after that point that you wanted the whole story to focus on it?” Juniper asks, as he takes his fingers out of himself a few seconds later. 

You’ll see. 

“Ominous piece of shit.” 

That’s why everyone likes me.

“I don’t fucking like you.”

Sure you do. 

“I only talk to you because you give me powers and shit. Which you’re not even doing right now.” 

That’s not going to work on me.

“What isn’t?”

That thing where you alienate your friends so that they leave you alone and let you wallow in self-pity. 

Juniper blinks. “We’re…friends?”

Of course we are, Juniper. Why else would I still be here with you?

“I…” Juniper doesn’t know what to say. Fortunately, at that point the cell door opens. 

“Stand up,” the guard said, shouldering his way into the prison cell. He looks at Juniper and sighs. “And pull your damned pants up.” 

“Okay, okay,” Juniper said, trying to do both of those things and once and glaring at nothing for not warning him this was about to happen. “Act like you’ve never seen an isolated person relieve stress before. I’ve been stuck with my hand for weeks, what did you think was going to happen?”

“It’s been four days.”

“So…you don’t want to fuck, then.” 

The guard pulls Juniper towards the door. “The queen requests your presence. Try not to say anything stupid to her.” 

“Fat chance of that,” Juniper muttered, but he let the guard pull him out of the prison, then manhandle him—and not in the good way—all the way to a large, phosphorescent sphere that was the queen’s seat. 

Inside, gently glowing leaves illuminated a shell of white back, casting as many colours as there were ideas on everything, but giving more than enough light to see by in the process. There were several faeries around, but there was no way to look anywhere but at the main one. The faery queen Amaryllis was tall, dressed in a white gown made from vapour, which floated all around her for a good distance. She had four layers of wings, trailing behind her, white overlaid with different shades of gossamer. She held in her lap her white-wrought sceptre, and wore the Crown of the Forest, and surveyed the whole court archly. 

Juniper hadn’t bathed in a week and he had cum on his shirt. He smiled weakly before kneeing. “Your Majesty,” he said. 

“Juniper,” said the queen, in a voice that made Juniper feel even smaller. “You nearly killed my son.” 

Juniper nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said, voice cracking. He didn’t bother giving any excuses. 

“Have you no explanation, not to much as an excuse to offer in your defence?”

Juniper shook his head. “No. I screwed up. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I know I did. I should have…stayed away from him. I knew better and I did it anyway.” 

“What do you mean, you knew better?” 

Juniper looked up. He hadn’t seen Daffodil standing there before, focused on the queen. But he was there, next to her. With Hemlock. “I…hurt everyone, Daffodil…your Majesty. It’s what I always do.” He tried not to look at Hemlock, tried not to hear what Hemlock had said to him the other day. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He looked just like normal. Just like Juniper remembered him. Juniper was so relieved. 

“I am,” Daffodil said, putting his arm around Hemlock. “Thanks to our poison specialist.”

Juniper blinked, looking at how they stood together. “Oh. That’s…that’s great.” Hemlock looked embarrassed. 

Juniper had…not expected that. Wow. 

The queen, he needed to look back at the queen. “Hemlock told you about the centipedes in the hamlet, right? They’re really dangerous. Like, world-bendingly dangerous. You have to…”

“Do not presume to tell me what I have to do,” the queen interrupted, waving the sceptre. “I will deal with the demon. We are here to sentence you.” 

“S-sentence?”

“Yes. For the charge of attempted murder of the crown prince. Juniper, you are sentenced to death. There will be no appeal. Stand for execution.”

Juniper rocked, nearly falling to the floor. “Death?” he squeaked. That was…he was going to die. An actual death, not what normally happened to faeries. He’d be torn to pieces, instead of being reborn in different bits, his essence would be ground down to nothing and used to feed the forest. Death. 

“No!”

All eyes in the court swung to Hemlock, who’d nearly tripped as he moved to stand in the queen’s vision. “Your Majesty, don’t.” 

“Hem…”

“Hemlock?” Daffodil asked.

“Hemlock, there is no need for you to feel sorry for this creature.” 

“It was my fault.” 

A hush fell. 

“No it wasn’t,” Juniper said, voice barely above a whisper. “It wasn’t.” They couldn’t kill Hemlock. He wouldn’t let them.

“Explain,” ordered the queen. 

“I…Juniper hurt me. So I cursed him, so that anyone he was with would get ill. It was irresponsible. It was stupid. It was my fault. Please, don’t kill him over my mistake.”

“You…” The pain in Hemlock’s voice was contagious. “You didn’t mean to hurt anyone, Hem,” Juniper said. 

“Yes, I did,” Hemlock whispered, turning to Juniper now. “I meant to hurt you.” 

“Anyone who matters.” 

Hemlock was crying, his makeup running. “You matter, June.” Daffodil had come down, hand on Hemlock’s thigh. 

He turned to the queen. “Mother. This wasn’t a crime of malice. It was an act of heartbreak. I don’t think a punishment is in order.”

“You,” said Amaryllis, “are not the queen, son.” She stood, the court seeming to shift as she did. She stepped down from the dais, sceptre in hand. She stopped in front of the three of them. “I should have known this all came down to one of you being too horny for your own good. There will be no punishment. Remove yourself from the court.” 

“I…thank you, your Majesty,” Juniper said, still kneeling. Daffodil and Hemlock helped him stand. And to them he said, “Thank you.” 

“It’s going to be okay, Juniper,” said Hemlock, reaching out as if to touch him, and then stopping. “We’ll fix it.” 

“F-fix what?”

“Everything. You should go, though.” 

Juniper nodded, so confused. “Yeah. I…thank you.” he looked at both of them, took a step back, and another. They looked really nice together. They fit. “I love you.” 

He didn’t know which one of them he was saying it to. Juniper turned and hurried out of the court. He imagined them calling after him, getting him to come back. 

But they didn’t.


	9. It's in Times of Great Crisis that We Discover Hidden Depths to Ourselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penultimate chapter! Now seems like a good time to splatter the introduction with links to places where you can bother me if you want! I have [a blog](https://antagonizedpenguin.wordpress.com/%7C) where I post about the world of the story, a [Twitter](https://twitter.com/HBtUaSPenguin) where I'm mostly just obnoxious, and a (nsfw) [Discord server](https://discord.gg/hTwyU9t), where I can also be DM'd at Penguin#7103. 
> 
> And with that out of the way, enjoy the fun!

Juniper inhaled. Even though he shouldn’t have.

“Oh, shut up,” Juniper mutters, taking another drag. “I’m a grown-up faery, I can smoke mind-altering substances if I want.”

I know, I know. I’m just not sure the hallucinogenic that’s laced with is a great call. 

“Whatever. It’s not like I’m doing anything important.”

Indeed, Juniper was not doing anything particularly important. He’d been sort of bumming around the woods since his court appearance, just kind of lost. 

“What am I supposed to do? The queen and Daffodil have the centaur stuff under control. I’d just be in the way.” 

I think that you could be a pretty strong asset. 

“They’ll be fine without me.”

I’m not sure that’s true. I really think you should go with them.

“You really think they want me to come with them?”

Has people not wanting you to come with them ever stopped you before?

Juniper inhales again, burning away the last of the drug Grass had given him. “Look, I’m making an effort to be less of a shit person, okay?” he asks, flicking ice over the ember to put it out before tossing it away. “That means not going out of my way to piss people off. So I’m not going to go out of my way to piss the queen off as a first step.”

I think you just don’t want to see Daffodil.

“Would you?” Juniper sighs. “I’ve seen him plenty of times. With his arm around Hemlock.”

And you think a hallucinogen is going to stop that? Wonder what you’re going to hallucinate.

“Oh, for…”

“Juniper.”

Juniper looked up, saw Hawthorn alight on the tree root beside him. “Hey,” he said, trying to be subtle about moving just slightly away.

Hawthorn sat with him, smiling. “How are you feeling? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Fine. Got arrested.”

“I heard. You okay?”

“Yeah. I was innocent or something.” Juniper shrugged. “Shit happens.”

“Yeah. Listen, we’re having a party tonight, you want to come?”

Juniper shook his head, the drug making his mind buzz a little. “No thanks. I shouldn’t.”

“You should. It’ll be fun.”

“Nah. Honeysuckle’s mad at me.”

“He’ll get over it.” Hawthorn smiled. “After the party, you could stay with us. Have some extra fun. Maybe finish what we started before.”

Juniper was tempted, he really was. But only for a minute. “No. I can’t do that to Hemlock.”

Hawthorn gave one of those shrugs that made all his muscles move, which reminded Juniper of why they’d fucked in the first place. “You guys broke up. He has a new boyfriend now, even. It’s okay for you to move on.”

“That’s not the point. I can’t…”

“He’s not even going to be there, Juniper. He’s away with the new boyfriend.”

Juniper frowned. “Away?”

“Yeah, for a couple of days, he said.”

Juniper took a step back. “…With the boyfriend. He went to the centaur hamlet.”

“I…don’t know, I didn’t ask. Why?”

Oh, fuck. Juniper’s mind was racing. Hemlock was going to help them get rid of that…thing? He could die. He could…

Fuck. Juniper’s wings buzzed as he lifted into the air. Fuck. “I have to go.”

“Juniper? What’s wrong?”

“I…I just have to go. I’ll see you later, Hawthorn.”

And Juniper flew away as fast as he possibly could. “Why didn’t you tell me Hemlock was going to be there?” he snapped.

Because it would have been manipulative. You needed to decide to go on your own.

“Bullshit,” Juniper accuses. “You wanted me going now instead of earlier.”

Guilty.

“I swear if something happens to Hemlock I’m done with you.”

He’ll be fine.

Juniper’s flight to the hamlet after that was quiet, angry, and scared. He could feel the queen’s magic there, powerful and warm. Hemlock and Daffodil would be with her. They were probably fine. This was probably silly. But Juniper was worried. That monster was in the hamlet, at least whatever parts of it were still around. They didn’t understand how dangerous it was. 

Just a comment, but if you wanted to be a good person, worrying about stuff like this before you know it’s your ex-boyfriends who are flying into danger would be a good start.

“I don’t have time for you right now.” 

There was a big table set up in the main clearing of the hamlet, and the queen was floating above it. Esteban and Miguel and Alphonse and a few of the other centaurs were on one side of the table, and a female centaur who Juniper vaguely recognized as Esteban’s sister was on the other. At the head was a human woman, a witch, who was talking to the queen. Hemlock and Daffodil weren’t there.

_There you are, Freezie,_ the demon’s voice said in his head. _I was hoping you’d show up!_

“Where are you?” Juniper demanded, ice forming around his hands. “I’m not going to let you hurt anyone.”

_I’m all gone, remember? You froze me all to pieces. That wasn’t very nice of you._

“I’m not playing fucking games with you!” Juniper snarled, looking around. He didn’t see any centipedes. But he could feel them. “Tell me where you are!”

_Aw, I’m disappointed, Freezie. Haven’t you figured it out yet? You’re looking right at me. Maybe you want to call a friend for help?_

“What the…” Juniper tries to keep his breathing calm, frost forming when he exhales. “You know where they are?”

They’re inside the centaurs, June. You’ve been sensing them the whole time.

“The toxic power that was inside Alphonse.”

_That’s me!_

“Fuck,” Juniper whispered, looking down at the table. “It’s coming from…so many of them. Feels like at least a dozen. They’re…” The centaurs who felt toxic were arrayed all around the clearing. All of them were looking in the same direction. “They’re going to kill the queen.”

_Doesn’t she look yummy? Oh hey, her magic sustains your whole clan, doesn’t it? Not to mention a bunch of the barriers and junk around this scab of forest. What happens to those if her magic becomes part of me, I wonder?_

“You…you brought me here to save her, didn’t you?”

Not just her. I’m sorry, June.

“The whole fucking clan.”

Maybe the whole fucking forest.

“Okay.” Juniper took a breath. “Okay.” He flew down, landed on the table, which started to freeze. “Get back,” he called.

“Juniper,” the queen said, glaring at him. “What the hell is this?”

“I’m protecting you, your Majesty,” Juniper said. 

“The centaurs hardly pose a threat to…”

“Not them. What’s inside them. The, the demon,” Juniper explained. “It’s not in the ground, it’s inside the centaurs.”

“What…”

“Guardian…”

“Hi, Miguel.” There was no toxic power coming from him. Juniper looked away. “I’m going to need a hand, maybe.”

_You need a hand?_ the demon asked in a sneer. _I can lend you a few million._

“Guardian,” said Esteban. “I’m afraid I must ask you to…”

“You’re one of them.” He could feel it coming from Esteban. He hadn’t before. How new was it? “It’s inside you too. Your Majesty, you need to get out of here. You too, ma’am.”

“You will explain yourself,” said the old witch.

Juniper didn’t explain himself. A strong layer of frost was covering most of the table now. He would probably die doing this, or because of this, but it was worth it. Maybe he could do something useful for once in his life.

_Now doesn’t that seem unlikely. You came all the way here because a hallucination was mean to you and you think you can change the world?_

Juniper staggered in place. Was this…was this not real? No, it had to be. It was real. It was…

Esteban collapsed in his moment of hesitation, and a roar went up from the centaurs. “The guardian has attacked the chief!” Alphonse shouted. Weapons were drawn. They were going to shoot. Him, and the queen, and…

Juniper lifted into the air. He could freeze them all solid, but it would kill everyone. He couldn’t do that, not here. There was only one thing to do. They’d chase him, they had to. Not all of them were being controlled by the demon, and if they attacked the queen instead of him the ones who were free would catch on. The demon wasn’t numerous enough to split its power between him and the queen. 

He was right. The centaurs gave chase at a gallop, the demon’s power coming after him. Juniper flew as fast as he could, outpacing them, freezing the forest as he flew. 

There was more of it in the woods, Juniper could feel it now, a concentration of power. So that was where he flew. He’d freeze the whole monstrous fucking thing until there was nothing left. “Come fucking get me,” he growled.

_Don’t worry, Freezie,_ said the demon, as it left the hamlet entirely, chasing after Juniper into the deep woods. _I will. I’m coming for both of you._


	10. Small Faeries Having Big Problems May Be a Cliche, But Problems Are Big No Matter Your Size

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the final chapter of this story! This one was a fun writing experiment for me for reasons that I'm sure must be obvious by now, and I'm really happy with how it turned out, to be honest! I hope you all enjoyed it as well, and had fun spending some time with me and Juniper. Thanks so much for reading!

Juniper flew. He raced through the forest, breath short, wings aching. But he couldn’t slow down. Not now. They’d catch him. At the very least, he had to get the demon out of the forest before it killed him. 

The centaurs shouldn’t have been able to move as fast as they were. The demon had to be forcing them to run faster. Were they even still alive? Juniper didn’t know. It might not even matter. If they caught him, alive or dead, the end result would be the same. 

An arrow whizzed by him, nicking his wing, throwing Juniper off course. He turned and righted himself to face the oncoming centaurs. “Don’t come any closer,” he warned them.

“Oh, Freezie,” said the one in front. It was Alphonse. It was not Alphonse. “They’re not home anymore.” 

The demon nocked another arrow. Juniper held out his hand, felt the cold around him. He was a faery of the queen’s clan. If the demon thought a piece of dead tree was a deterrent to him, it was insane. Alphonse froze solid, so fast and so hard that he cracked, broke into pieces. Even if he’d been alive he wouldn’t have felt it. 

The other centaurs didn’t even glance at him, preparing more arrows. _Shit._ Juniper buzzed away, gathering power as he went. The forest’s screams were deafening.

“Why is it screaming?” he asks as he flies.

Why do things usually scream?

Fuck. “What is that thing doing to it?”

Surgery without anaesthetic. There’s a cave on a lake a few kilometers from here. That’s where you’re going. 

“I can feel it.” It was suppurating, glowing, a ball of mental heat that Juniper couldn’t have ignored if he wanted to. Juniper flew faster, moving to dodge arrows, ignoring his hurt wing. It was just a nick. He threw a hand over his shoulder, freezing another centaur in place, not watching it try to keep moving, crash into pieces. If he thought about the death he was causing, he’d have to stop, and he couldn’t stop. 

He killed three more centaurs—three more centipedes, the centaurs were already dead—before he got to the cave. The lake was frozen with a thin sheet of ice, and the cave rose from the ground, unnatural. Somebody had put that there. He could feel the toxicity of the centipedes inside it, and something else as well. 

Juniper paused, hovering just at the edge of the lake, gut curling, the feel of the cave making him sick. “Hey,” he says. 

What is it?

“The start of the story. You said it was an in media res opening. You lied. You never wanted to start the story here, did you?”

No. It was a cold open. 

“Is that supposed to be a joke?”

The fact that it doubles as a pun was a consideration, yes.

Juniper snorts, hugging himself a little, nodding. He can feel something inside him, growing as if from the small of his back. His eyes are watering. “I can’t help but notice the character death warning you put on the story. I’m going to die, aren’t I?”

I can’t tell you the end of the story, June. 

“Why not? You love breaking every other literary convention.”

It’s not about literary convention. It’s about all our safety. 

Juniper blinks, taking in a deep breath of cold winter air. “Witch’s tits, you have a plan.” 

_Of course he has a little plan, Freezie,_ the demon’s voice echoes. _Peacock has a lot of those. Thinks he’s all in charge of everything._

“Shut up,” Juniper says, feeling more confident now. With his biggest ally on his side, he feels better. A little. “I’m not afraid of you.”

_That’s just because you’re stupid._

You’re going to need to go in there now, June.

“Okay. You’re with me, right?”

Always. 

“Okay.” Bravery wasn’t about not being afraid, it was about doing what needed to be done even when one was afraid. So Juniper bravely flew into the cave, into that well of toxic power. 

It was crawling with centipedes on every surface, including on the large, ovular stone attached to the back wall, glowing with foreign magic. The magic was a barrier, and the centipedes were gnawing at it. 

Juniper held out his hand to freeze them, stopped. He was having trouble accessing his power in here. “At the rate they’re going it’s going to take them decades to break through that.” He said it to stall, to cover that his power wasn’t coming to him. 

Yeah, but you’re not the only one that thing lured here. 

“Nope!” The demon took form, two of the centipedes twinning together to make a faery-sized figure with crimson wings adorned with little legs. It buzzed up to grin at Juniper. “The last part of the main course is still on its way. But once Joy opens this box for me, everyone’s going to have fun.” 

No. No, Juniper couldn’t let that happen. He didn’t have to understand it to know he couldn’t let it happen. “I’m not going to let you do that.” Juniper concentrated, managed to make some ice form on his hands. He was the wrong person to be doing this. 

“Yeah, you’re just the appetizer, Freezie,” the demon sneered. “I hope you didn’t think I brought you here because you matter. You’re just as out of place here as you are everywhere else, so how about you just let me eat you so I can focus on the real food, hm?”

“Fuck you,” Juniper spat. “That’s not even good as an attempt to get in my head.” Juniper already knew that he wasn’t the important one here. That hardly bothered him. He’d told himself that so many times that hearing it from a demon didn’t change anything. 

“Heh. How about this? You’re right. You are just a weight around everyone’s neck. Lots of people love you, but you’ve never deserved it cause you’re such a piece of crap. And even though you know I’m just trying to fuck you up, you’re still going to let me because you know I’m right.” 

Juniper held out his hand, and the demon’s form froze, fell out of the air, and shattered. “Shut up,” he said, heart pounding, head spinning. It didn’t matter. Juniper had known coming in here that nothing else mattered. “That has nothing to do with this.” 

Behind you, June.

Juniper turned, froze another avatar of the demon. “Fuck.” 

You need to freeze them all at once. That’s how you’ll make sure they don’t get away.

“But I can’t do that. It’s blocking my power.” He couldn't panic. He had to stay level. There was no way that anyone the demon wanted to call Joy was going to be good news when they got here.

No it isn’t, June, you can do it.

“Please, he can’t do anything.”

A huge weight dropped onto Juniper from the roof of the cave, several centipedes trying to eat him at once. Juniper wrestled them off, froze one, then a few more on the floor as he hit it. “Fuck,” he said. “Fuck.” It was harder, harder now to stay level, to stay calm. It was getting to him, all of it was too much. He couldn’t do this. Another one came for him, then another one, and then Juniper lifted into the air. 

Another avatar of the demon tackled him, and they wrestled in the air, magic pressing against each other. The demon pushed Juniper out of the cave and into the lake, the ice cracking. But, freed from the worst of the demon’s power, Juniper felt himself able to lash out, and he flash-froze the whole lake and them both with it. 

But something noxious opened, and Juniper wasn’t in the lake by the time it froze. “What the…”

He hit hard stone that swam with anger, and as he stood up, nausea rose in him. The world was a screaming wall of putrefaction and wounds, shapes and colours that couldn’t exist colliding everywhere Juniper looked. And that wasn’t the worst part, the worst part was the things moving behind those. 

“Heh,” said the demon’s avatar, which had taken on the quality of everything else in this place that wasn’t a place. “I keep coming over to play at your house, it seemed only fair to let you play in mine.”

“This…” Juniper knew where this was, where it had to be. But he didn’t know it, couldn't know it. This wasn’t a place it was possible to know. 

“Now, you stay here and marinate for a few eons while I go eat everyone else. You’ll make a cute dessert.” The demon moved back, forward, up, inward. “Oh, and try not to let any of my cousins eat you, okay? I’d hate to have you cheat on me, cheater.” 

And the demon vanished, leaving Juniper alone in a well of toxic power.

“What the…” 

You have to follow him.

“I can’t,” Juniper said, struggling to breathe. He couldn’t exist here.

Of course you can. He’s in the forest. You can teleport back there. I’ll help you. 

Juniper shakes his head, falling to his knees, his wings listless behind him. A shape that smells like the sound ants make when they die is getting closer to him, but something makes it back off. For now. 

_Juniper._

“I can’t!” Juniper cries, his tears drying, evaporating as soon as they form. His skin is cracking in the heat that tastes like the dying cry of an infant. “I can’t. It’s too much. It’s too powerful.” He wasn’t anything in the face of this. He wasn’t anything. 

You can do it. You need to get out of here, this place will make you part of it really fast if you don’t, and it’ll take a billion years and hurt for all of them. 

A few of those years had already passed, time warping around Juniper as his bones turned to iron. “I can’t, I can’t touch my power, not with all of this…it’s blocking me from…”

For fuck’s sake, Juniper. Where does your power come from?

Juniper waits a lifetime, a heartbeat, before answering. “You.”

Well, I’m fucking still here with you, aren’t I?

An idea of a carnivorous fish bloats nearby, holes made of grief in all of its mouths but one, and begins to move towards Juniper. 

“I…you are.”

Then you still have your fucking powers, you just let that thing convince you that you don’t. 

“You…” Juniper takes a breath, looking down at his hands, which seem to be multiplying. Ice crystals form around them on the gaseous ground. “You’re right.” 

I usually am.

Juniper stands, ice growing around him in a plateau. More creatures start to pay attention, but it’s okay. He takes a breath of the not-air that sustains this place, then closes his eyes, shutting it out, shutting it up. And, as the creatures of the place called hell lunged at him across a distance spanning conceptual lifetimes, Juniper disappeared in a flash of ice that was immediately consumed by something that could generously be called Alan. 

The forest didn’t snap immediately into focus. Walls of ice rose on either side of Juniper. “I’m…”

You’re in the lake. Breathe. 

Juniper did, taking in a breath, and another, getting all of whatever he’d taken with him from that other place out of his body. “Are we alone down here?”

Yeah. It’s distracted in the cave, it doesn’t know you’re here yet.

Juniper nods, steadying himself. “I don’t think I can do this, Pen. I’m not…there has to be someone better. The queen or someone. There has to be. It can’t be me. If all this rests on me, then we’re all fucked.” 

Juniper…

“No, I can’t.” Juniper’s crying now, tears freezing on his face. “I can’t do it. I’m sorry.” He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to let down the only person who still trusts him. But of course he’s going to. That’s what he does. 

I picked you, Juniper. I picked you because I know you can do it. 

“You picked me because you’re not as omniscient as you pretend to be.” Juniper coughs, half a gasp, half a sob. He’s so overwhelmed, so tired, so scared. “Don’t give me a motivational speech. You can do it. I can’t. I’m sorry, I just _can’t._”

I’m sorry too, Juniper. I’m about to do something crappy.

“What…”

Hemlock and Daffodil are in that cave right now and they’re going to die if you don’t go help them. 

“What…you…you asshole.” 

I’m sorry. 

The ice cracks and Juniper makes a fist. He knows this is a trap. He knows he’s being pushed into it because he doesn’t think he can do it. He knows that he’s being expected to do something impossible. And he resents it. This isn’t fair. It’s not fair that this is all on him. It’s...

“Oh, fuck me,” Juniper says, hearing it all. “I get it, I’m a melodramatic piece of shit. The world’s not fucking fair, I know.” He launched himself into the air, wreathing himself in all the power he could muster. “Fine,” he says, air frosting in front of him. “Fine. I’m going, okay?”

And he slammed into the cave, right through the barrier that had been put up, as if it weren’t even there. The demon had a human avatar set up and Juniper slammed right into that, breaking it away from the two humans it was harassing. “_You,_” said the demon, “are not supposed to be here.” 

“You’d be surprised how often that doesn’t stop me,” Juniper snarled, snapping power into its core, collapsing it as its component centipedes froze one at a time. He should have done them all at once, but he was busy looking around for Hemlock and Daffodil. He spotted them after a second, on the other side of the cave, fighting the demon as well. They seemed okay. They were looking over at him. 

He tried to get to them, but the centipedes surrounded him, rising up when he tried to fly. “Don’t think so, Freezie. I’ll eat dessert with the main course, I guess.” 

There were so many different powers overlapping in the cave that it was impossible for Juniper to tell where any of them were coming from or what they were doing. But they were all crashing against each other, so Juniper just held onto his and tried not to be knocked over. If he could get to Hemlock and Daffodil, the three of them could do something, he was sure. Together he felt like they could do it. 

He tried to fight his way towards them, feeling the weight of the demon’s power amid all the others, limiting what he could do even though it shouldn’t. “You said it couldn’t stop your power.” 

That doesn’t mean it can’t try. 

“Fuck,” Juniper muttered, as the demon giggled all around him. Some of the other powers in the cave were shifting, aligning, and it made it easier to feel what was happening. And Juniper felt it. It was subtle but there. All the other powers were shrinking incrementally, and the demon’s growing. 

It was eating them all alive. 

“We have to stop this,” Juniper whispered, time seeming to slow as he realized it. “We have to.” 

I know. 

“You have a plan, right?”

Yeah. 

“Too bad for you I’m not going to let you get to it,” the demon said. “I’m not the kind of villain to sit around and give an evil speech. Just going to eat you and your buddies all at once.” 

And centipedes swarmed him, covering Juniper before he could react. Juniper screamed as they bit into him, trying to eat him, tearing at his skin. It hurt, it hurt so much…and it was happening to Hemlock and Daffodil too, he knew it was. It was…he had to…

Juniper had to stop it. No matter what it cost.

Are you ready, June?

As the demon started to crush him, Juniper nodded. 

Okay. I’m sorry, this is going to hurt. 

Juniper’s scream reached a peak as, completely separate from the demon, he was torn in two, his body becoming a conduit for a power stronger than anything he’d be able to channel and survive. Ice spread out, faster than a living being could follow it, consuming every centipede in the cave at once. 

“Oh, you little shit,” the demon swore. “This isn’t over. I’ll come back for you. I’m _everywhere_, don’t forget—” It was cut off, the toxic power of the demon destroyed entirely, spreading out through the tendrils that linked it, freezing it out of the forest entirely and then some as another horrific scream filled the air, then cut off. 

Fading, some part of Juniper watched as the centipedes shattered, the demon’s presence gone for good. Hemlock and Daffodil broke free, injured but alive, and flew over to where he’d been. Where he’d died. 

“I didn’t get to say goodbye to them,” he whispers, in what remains of his voice. 

I know. I’m sorry.

“Can I? I know they won’t hear, but…”

Sure. We’ve got a few seconds. 

Juniper nods, floating down behind them. They’re cracking the ice, the ball of dead centipedes on him, to get at his body inside. He put a hand on both of their arms. “I…I love you guys,” he said, wishing he could cry. “You’ll be…you’ll be good together. I’m so sorry for all of this. Goodbye.”

Juniper fled, not willing to watch them excavate his corpse. “Thank you.” 

Most of this was my fault.

Juniper shakes his head. “It wasn’t. I…crap. I’m so bad at this. I should say something meaningful to show that I’ve grown as a person or something, shouldn’t I?” he asks. “This is the end of the story, isn’t it?”

In a manner of speaking. But nothing really ends, Juniper.

Juniper nods, then narrows his eyes when he thinks about that. “You’re still up to something.”

Aren’t I always?

“Tell me about it.”

I will. Not here, though. Close your eyes and try not to throw up, okay? This is going to be a bit disorienting for you.

Juniper nods, taking a deep breath. “You’re lucky I trust you.”

I know I am, Juniper. You ready?

“Yeah.” 

Juniper shuts his eyes, and he feels himself shift, pull, move. And everything goes dark. 

But only for a minute.


End file.
